100 years of foreign body

27 06 2010

Okay, not quite a hundred years, but at least a few.  Had a lady come in with a draining wound on her leg.  She had a lump on her shin for years, but it didn’t get ugly until she bumped it.  Then it grew and started festering.  She popped it and drained it at home, but it got redder and angrier.  She came in with a little draining crater of pus and fun.  “I can see the bone!” We got her started on antibiotics, and on a whim, I ordered an x-ray.  It showed a round foreign body right where the crater was.  As I was confirming the location with ultrasound, she asked if I could tell if it was a boy or a girl.

“It’s a boy.”

“Oh yay, I wanted another boy.

(pause)

“It’s got all it’s body parts?”

“Ten finger, ten toes.  Looks like a healthy little chunker.”

I put on my magnifying loupes, and went to work.  The pick-ups scraped up against something hard.  It was slippery, so it was hard to pluck out.

“He doesn’t want to come out. We may have to go to C-section.”

“Oh maaaaan.  I wanted a natural birth.”

I finally got enough purchase to yank it out.  We all stared at it for a while trying to figure out what the hell it was.  It looked like small egg-shaped stone, with the coloring of a Chicken McNugget.  The nurse suggested that it might be a teratoma.   A teratoma is a medical oddity that I’ve never been able to figure out.  By some congenital freak of nature, little bits of hair, teeth, skin, bone, or whatever form tumors in random places in the body.  This little baby didn’t have teeth, but it may have had a hair.  The lady was pretty cool about it, and let me take a pic. I don’t know, looks a petrified booger.  We sent it to pathology, so hopefully we’ll get an answer.  I’ll certainly blog about it when I get the results.

I submitted a design for the Boulder Center for Sports Medicine Contest (BCSM).  The prize is a $500 gift certificate to BCSM for their services.  I’d love to win a bike fit. 

We also have some cool stickers coming soon.  Pics in the next post.

Last thing, keep your eyes peeled for the Alchemist ad in the next edition of Mountain Flyer. Due out in July.

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One response

28 06 2010
Vivienne Palmer

You must be making this dialogue up. Too funny.

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