Had a lady come in because she lost control of the top of her bottle of oral Morphine. The medication was apparently dispersed all over the bathroom. But somehow, by a stroke of monumentally ill-fated bad luck, all the pills managed to land in the toilet. Her purpose in the ER was to convince me of two things. One, that I should open up my heart and my prescription pad. Two, that I needn’t do any expensive, time-consuming, and painful diagnostic procedures. It’s a fine line. Too little drama, and you don’t get what you came for. Too much drama, and you get the ER version of waterboarding. Interestingly, the frequency of patients, whose narcotics accidentally flew into the toilet, approximates the frequency of starving canines that eat innocent homework.
I often take the stance that if the patient would just tell me the truth, I’d give em what they want. But the reality is that I would probably just find it as offensive as the guy on the street corner holding the sign “Why Lie? I need beer.” I’ve never given those guys change, beer, a chuckle, or a second glance. So I’m just deluding myself by saying that I’d give a drug-seeker what they want if they would just tell me the truth.
Big ups to Thomas who flew in for the holidays, only to be coerced into helping me straighten out our books. Thanks, Tom!
We had planned to delay the production of Boss Hogg until 2011, but we’ve had enough folks asking for it, that we are going to put it out before the Holidays. Jeff C., it’s a comin’!