Just came out of a room with a lady who had breast pain for 2 months since she delivered her baby. Turns out she was sporting a huge, angry breast abscess. I opened it up with an 11 blade scalpel, and that baby erupted like Mount Vesuvius. Chunks of solidified pus spewed out along with fresh green milky purulence. After I left the room, I had an immediate and insatiable craving for Cheetos. I devoured a bag before the patient’s incision was even dressed. Whatever pathology that manifests in my deepest, darkest Id, I dare not speculate.
It appears that there is a bike theft ring in Boulder. CU-Boulder bike thefts spike 250%; police suspect crime ring – By Whitney Bryen, email@example.com Sadly, Becky was victimized by these A-holes. Her beautiful carbon Ibis was jacked off of her car while she was in a coffee shop. If anyone has an idea on how to fight back, I’d love to hear it. I’ll be speaking with Karli at Full Cycle about it, but I think we may offer our “Please don’t steal my bike” sticker for free at their store. Anyone know what the process is (or if there is one) on getting your bike registered?
Congrats to perennial powerhouse and friend of Alchemist, Karen Hogan (who was our first t-shirt customer (TV Sucks) back in the Spare Tire Cycling days), of Justin’s Racing Team for her Cyclocross win at Nationals in Bend, Oregon. Just another notch in her national champion belt. BTW, that’s not mud on her white jersey, that’s celebratory Nut Butter. Those Justin’s folks are kinda nutty.