Seeing a lady who hurts so bad that she tells me her eyelashes hurt. I couldn’t find the medical term to describe pain in the eyelashes, so I created one: Ciliadynia. It’s so new, you won’t even find it in the Urban Dictionary.
Whilst I languished in the room with this one, I noticed a couple nurses running by in gloves and yellow gowns. Surely, there was a real emergency that needed my immediate attention. I excused myself from the room, and headed toward all the commotion. I turned to the security guard on my way to the ambulance bay.
“What’s going on?”
“Ambulance brought in a drunk.”
“He pooped himself.”
In medical circles, this is known as a Code Brown. I’ve had years of experience dealing with Code Brown with my kids. But dealing with a drunken adult man who shat himself is best left for the real experts.
On a funner note, Kees sent us this pic from the Netherlands. He’s rockin’ the Alchemist Team Kit and spreading the love. Thanks for the props, Kees! And, uh, sorry to put you in the same blog post as the Code Brown.