West Mag Photo Shoot

29 09 2010

Just saw a pregnant lady who rear ended another car.  She apparently had no damage at all to her car, but she was having some belly aching and she thought her water broke.  Turns out she just pee’d herself, but I did an ultrasound anyway before sending her up to Ob.  I always have to resist the temptation to slap the probe on and go “Holy shit, I’ve never seen THAT before!”  She was fine, and I let her go without the sophomoric quips.

Back from Cali.  Had a great time at the cousin reunion.  Every event was centered around eating, and boy, did I eat.   Funny

how your cycling fitness can evaporate in a weekend.

Received an email from Candace, who saw the old “No One Cares That You Singlespeed” design at Crankworx.  Reminds me that I need to bring those themes back.   The trademark is still good on it, so we may as well use it.  Look out for “No One Cares That You Tele” this ski season.

Mark Woolcott hauled his camera around West Magnolia and took some stunning photos of Jon in the Alchemist Kit.  Aspens are turning up there.  Kick ass. You can check it out on his blog: http://markwoolcottphotography.com/blog/?cat=1

Seriously, check it out.  The pics are phat.

Breast Milk Fireworks and MF Ad

28 09 2010

Holding true to the ER mantra, “No good deed goes unpunished”, I got rocked tonight.  One of the docs was feeling like crap, so I came in to work his shift.   Monday evenings suck anyway, but I was ready to go postal just 5 minutes into my shift.  I found the nurse taking care of my first patient of the shift.

“What’s up in room 4?”

“She’s not gonna be happy that you’re on.”

“Uh, why?  Cus I’m a man or because I’m Asian.”

“You misdiagnosed her husband, and she told me she would never ever come back to this hospital.  She hates this place.  Well, she hates you anyway. She wrote a super long complaint letter to the hospital about you.”

“Awesome.  Looking foward to visiting with her again.”

Despite feeling like a dead man walking, I put on my biggest happy face and went to go face the music, even if it sounded like GWAR on a bad trip.

“Hi, I’m Jeff.  I’m the ER doc here.”

“I know who you are.  You saw my husband a couple years ago.”

“Yea.  That’s what I hear.  How’s he doing?”

“He’s fine now.  But he almost died.  You said it was this, but wasn’t. It was that. Luckily, that other doctor happen to be there, and he saved him.”

After I’d evaluated her for her present complaint (insect bite to the forehead), I went out to look up the records for her husband.  As it turns out, I diagnosed her husband’s condition correctly, ordered further testing to evaluate the problem, consulted the specialist, and transferred him for definitive care.   Though I knew I’d be better off just leaving things alone, I couldn’t help but return to the room to burst her acid filled bubble.  She really didn’t have much to say after that.  But she did say before she left that her husband wanted to thank me.  I suppose that’s some consolation.

More interestingly, I saw a lady with a plugged milk duct.  It hurt bad.  I kneaded and squeezed to no avail.  Luckily, the lactation nurse happen to be in the hospital, and she came over to lend a hand.  She really got it going. It was like a La Leche-inspired dairy fireworks display in room 5.  Breast milk was flying all over the place.  Spraying everyone and everything in site.  I found some good pics of examples online, but I figured it may not be appropriate for the pg-13 crowd.

If you get Mountain Flyer, you may have received the latest issue.  If not, check it out on the stand at most major bookstores.  Then flip to page 111.  Yeah, baby!

Pics of the Alchemist Kit shoot up at West Mag to come in the next post.

Flagstaff ride with Snoop

16 09 2010

Saw a lady yesterday who had claimed to have swallowed half a pencil.

“Did you swallow the eraser end or the sharp end?”
“I don’t know”
“Your doctor told me you also swallowed something else.”
“I did.”
“What was it?”
“I’m not telling.”
“That’s not very helpful.”
“I’m not telling.”

I couldn’t muster the energy to feign interest, so I just turned around and headed towards the door.

“Wait! Don’t you want to know what else I swallowed?”

It took a monumental effort to halt my momentum that, in spirit, had already left the room.

“Okay. Sure. What else did you swallow.”
“Half a toothbrush.”

I didn’t bother to ask which end this time. Her x-ray looked fine, so I washed my hands of her and sent her back to the psych facility from whence she had come.

Before coming into work, I had gone on a ride up Flagstaff. For you non-Boulderites, Flagstaff is a popular local test piece that winds up along the Flatirons from town. I started at around 5200 feet (my house) and topped out at around 7800 feet. I’ve done this ride dozens of times, but yesterday was different. Yesterday, I hooked up the kids’ trailer to the bike and brought Snoop with me. Snoop has been my trusty companion for 12 years. I picked him out from the San Antonio SPCA. He’s the best dog to ever live. He was diagnosed with Lymphoma a couple weeks ago and his days are few. We used to ride all over the trails of San Antonio and Charlottesville. But Boulder is full of over-regulating tight-asses, so most of the trails around here either don’t allow bikes, or don’t allow dogs. So for his last hoorah, I’m going to take him on as many of the Boulder Classics as I can. Flagstaff, Jamestown, Sunshine, Ward. In all, the trailer weighs around 80-90 pounds, so I’m still trying to decide if I can get up Magnolia, which is crazy steep. I’ll post video of the Flagstaff ride in the next post.

For the folks who are going to Interbike, look out for the renegade I*M*B*A shirt that the IMBA staff will be flaunting there.

Examiner Review and Long Lost Epic video

15 09 2010

We sent a tank top to Erica Jessop of Examiner.com to wear and review.  Here is her review.  Erica, we agree!

I had high ambitions to rock a helmet cam for each stage of the Breck Epic.  But after it bounced around all over my noggin and the lens filled up with dust, I abandoned the effort.  But I finally went back and found the footage from stage 1.   Bouncy? Yes.  Rare, never seen before footage? Not really.  But it is rare footage from the perspective of a middle-of-the-pack rider.

Here is a long, but rarer (more rare?) footage from the front of the race.  Stage 5, Wheeler Pass, my nemesis. This from the eyes of Alex Grant of Cannondale Factory Racing.  It’s amazing to watch these guys battle it out at over 12,000 feet.  It’s nice to see that they have to hike some of it too.  But they ride a crap load of it.  I walked for 30 straight minutes.  Towards the end is the uber hairy descent off of Wheeler Pass.  He says 15 minutes. Hmm.  No so much for me.  Alex is riding a full squish bike here.  I rode that thing fully rigid.  And it hurt me.  He says his hands and feet were numb.  I hear that.  I got rocked on that descent.

Dakota 5-0 and Competitor Piece

12 09 2010

Plodding through another night shift.  It’s 1am, and I’ve got an 80 year old lady with diarrhea and a kid who downed a bottle of Jack.   Good time to update the blog.

Last week, Team Alchemist and friends road tripped to the Black Hills of South Dakota for the Dakota 5-0.  It’s a little known race in Spearfish, SD with bomber singletrack and a great vibe.  As much as I hate to go camping, this experience was surprisingly enjoyable due to the nearby showers, soft well-kept lawn, and the group of companions that came to race and hang out.  About a dozen of us set up camp in the city campground, just a few pedal strokes from the start of the race.   Actually, Jon and Deb took all our tents and set up the whole camp the night before the rest of us slackers arrived .  Thanks guys.   Showers and running water is really the only way to camp, and no one is going to convince me otherwise.

The race is 50 miles of sweet singletrack.  The Alchemist bunch rode out together from the start, carving a line through the crowd before the road narrowed to singletrack.  Stuart and Ken rode in drag.  Stuart in a flowy yellow sash, Ken in a red sequined skirt.  I know what you’re thinking.  Sequins are soooo 1980’s.  But there’s something about a clydesdale in a sparkling mini-skirt and hairy legs that is . . . hot.   All the ladies had flair too.  Sue taped Playboy bunny ears to her helmet.   I’m still trying to figure out how to convince her to wear those again.  Ryn brought the accessories for the event.  Thanks, Ryn.

The boys in drag led the Alchemist train up the road and set a heavy pace on their singlespeeds.   I wasn’t sure if I would be strong or tired from the Breck Epic, but my legs felt as good as they have ever felt.   So I aired it out and figured I’d ride it til I popped.  Despite dropping my chain 6 times (I finally stopped and spent a couple minutes to tighten up the chain line at Aid 2) and imploding my fork (bottomed out on the first bump and stayed completely compressed for the rest of the race), I felt good enough to ride my legs hard for the whole 50 miles.   I finished 7th out of 33 singlespeeders, and 38th out of about 450 riders.   Good by my standards.  In fact, we all rode a good race.  Stuart, Ken, Jon and myself all finishing well and within 10 minutes of each other.   Jon finished in the money. Ryn and Jenn finished together not long after.  Christian (a real-deal clydesdale) and Deb came in just after them.  And Sue and Amy crushed the longest mountain bike ride either have ever done, picking up catcalls all along the way.  We all decompressed with beer, burritos, and brats afterward.   Thanks to Tom  (Jenn’s mountain biking dad) for the cold PBR.  A fine time was had by all.  Thanks to my folks for coming from Houston to brave the weekend with the four grandkids back in Boulder.  I will continue to unilaterally deny that my little heathens had anything to do with the Four Mile blaze that greeted us on our return.

Sat down with Rebecca Heaton of Competitor Magazine the other day.  She is the senior editor at Competitor (formerly Rocky Mountain Sports and parent company to Velonews).  She interviewed Claire and me for the “One Cool Job” story in the magazine.  I didn’t have much time to submit a better pic of me and the Walt Works bike mower, but I think this will do.   At the very least, it’s the pic in which I look the least dorky.  But that’s not saying much. Thanks to Todd (on the Team, but recovering from an ankle injury), Katie (Todd’s daughter and Jake’s playmate and love interest) and Julie (Nina’s bohemian mom) for helping me capture the image.  The interview will be in the October issue of Competitor.   So keep your eyes peeled for it.

Alchemist will be sporting a booth at the Boulder Racing Cyclocross Series.  So if you race cross, or just like to get drunk and heckle, come on out and say hi.  Special event deal: Buy 2 shirts and get a FREE pair of our bamboo socks.  We will be sponsoring prizes as well at the races.  So if you are fast enough or lucky enough to win one, we’d love to hear about it.  Alchemist@AlchemistThreadworks.com.

I decided to offer the Alchemist Team Kit to the general public.  Once we get things inventoried and organized, they will be available for purchase.  10% of profits will be donated to a worthy green and/or cycling charity TBD.  You can see the kit here: http://alchemistthreadworks.com/2010/09/alchemist-team-cycling-kit/

I need some photos of the backside, so Team members need to get me some pics.  Word.

Ear Thingamajig and Special Offers!

9 09 2010

Got crushed today.   Everyone in the world and their non-diagnoses dropped in for a visit. No time to eat, no time to drink, no time to pee.  Instead of dictating the mound of charts I accumulated over the course of the shift, I’m writing about that little ear thing.  Wasn’t even my patient, but I was enlisted to throw down with a feisty little 3 year old who somehow got something stuck in her ear.

Between the intractable squirming and the embedded object, it was a tough catch, but I was confident. “Oh come on, Deb. Just squirt it out. It’s easy.”
Famous last words.
“Gimme the irrigation!”
No luck.
“Gimme more irrigation!”
“Gimme the suction!”
No luck.
“Alligator forceps!”
“Q-tip, I need a Q-tip! Her hands are coming up, her hands are coming up! Keep them away! I almost had it!”

With suction in one hand, alligator forceps in the other, a spot light on my forehead, and a nurse and another doc holding the kid down,  I finally was able to get a little purchase.  And then thhhhwaat!  I pulled out that little plastic thing in the photo.  Free stickers to anyone who can identify this object.

Check out the new look of the Alchemist website.  There is a new section for special offers.  The socks are live too.  Thanks to Dave for actually purchasing the socks.  What a guy.  The new offers are as follows:

Buy two Bike Share shirts and get a third FREE.

IMBA members receive a FREE pair of socks with $40 purchase.  Enter “IMBA2010” in the comments section of check-out to take advantage of the offer.

Will catch up in the next blog about the Dakota 5-0 and the recent Competitor interview.  Also in the next issue, Walt Wehner’s killer mods on the bike mower with pics and vid.

Time to dictate.

More Cowbell

2 09 2010

There heeeeere.  More Cowbell is in, and it looks mahvelous.  Available for purchase on the Alchemist site.  Kick ass!

After the Epic

1 09 2010

It’s been 4 days, and I’m still trying to recover.  It was harder to motivate myself to come to work today than hauling my tired ass up Wheeler Pass.  I’ve seen a couple septagenarians that were “confused” and “dizzy”, neither of which, of course, have a definitive diagnosis.  Despite the common perception, medicine is not a science.

Will be introducing a new sticker.  Weather resistant so that they will be perfect for sticking on your bike.  Clear backing so your bike paint color will proved the background. They will be offered on the website for a small charge and free with purchase.  There will be 5000 of them, so I may have a few extra if you blog followers want one.  Just let me know, and it’s yours.

Claire and I visited the good folks at Green Guru the other day.  They have a wicked cool messenger bag that we may roll out in the spring.  The bag is made from recycled bike tubes and reclaimed/reappropriated materials.   I’d love some feedback on whether you think a bad-ass Alchemist $140 messenger bag would be attractive enough to drop down that kind of cash.  Ours would look very similar, but would have the Alchemist patch on the front instead of the Green Guru patch.  They also have another really great satchel made from recycled vinyl billboards.  Each one is unique since they use various billboards.  After the meeting, we walked out into a cloud of happy smoke.  The thursday night cruiser rides start from the front of Green Guru.  I was feeling a tad overdressed.  Claire joined the fun parade on her cruiser, and I went home to join the fun parade in my own home, otherwise known as bedtime.  But not before I caught a couple pics on Claire’s smart phone.

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