Another night in the ER. Another blog post.
Occasionally, I see folks in the ER who don’t seem to be able to smile. I can understand if you or a family member is really sick or injured. But for a sprained shoulder? Come on, throw me a bone. These were nice enough folks, but for whatever reason, the patient and her parents didn’t crack a smile or even show any affect, one way or the other.
I was able to get to her right away as they were being put into the room. I had heard about the shoulder injury while she was in the waiting room, so I ordered the x-ray ahead of time. The x-ray tech managed to beat me in there.
“Hey man, what’s up with the efficiency? This ain’t the way we do things around here.”
Nothing.
“You’re supposed to watch the end of the game before you come get the patient for her x-ray.”
Nada.
“So, looks like we have another casualty of Homecoming.”
Crickets. Not even a chuckle.
“But you shoulda’ seen the other guy, right?”
Chirp. . . . .Chirp.
That’s pretty much how the rest of her visit went. Me, trying ever harder to get a response. Them, giving me nothing.
“Hey, is this an audience or an oil painting?”
It got me wondering. Is it me? Do I have spinach in my teeth? A Tarzan hangin’ out of my nose? Do I smell of like rotten eggs? (well, probably. I made a mean dish of red beans and rice.) I know I’m no Seinfeld, but most folks at least throw me a little love, out of pity, if nothing else.
Of course, the icing was when Becky, the nurse, went in to put on her sling, they were all yucking it up like Dave Chappell had paid a visit. As much as I tried to shut it out, I could still hear the roars of laughter from across the ER. I guess you can’t win em all.
Jim came over the other day to buy a couple Bike Share shirts and some Alchemist bamboo socks. He was going to wear the shirt at a party with a bunch of environmental bigwigs, including Al Gore. He told me he’d try to get Al to buy one.
“Buy one? Heck, he can have one!”
I ran down to the basement to grab an X-Large shirt. “Jim, if you can get me a photo of Al Gore wearing this shirt, you can have all that stuff for free.”
“I’ll try.”
“Don’t let me down, Jim.”
So, here’s to hoping Jim can bring home the gold.
Team Alchemist Blog 
Take heart, Wu, I laugh at you all the time. BTW, I had a funny little infection on my thumb that wouldn’t go away (until it did yesterday) and for a while I entertained the notion that maybe I had absorbed my twin in utero and all that was left of him/her was a tooth now surfacing on my thumb. Lonny shot my idea down pronto and the thing went away. Better luck next time.