Team Alchemist Blog

Had a  lady who approached the front desk and introduced herself with “Do you do Vagina exams?” 

“Yes ma’am, we are the industry leader in vagina exams.”

Snappy comments like this are best relegated to the deeper, darker places in my head.  My wife says I have no secondary processing.  Occassionally, however, I manage to subdue the urge to verbalize my first thought, which is good, since I nearly called out a lady today for fakin’ it.  She was holding a bucket to her face and heaving into it when I walked in.

“Do you feel like you need to throw up?”

“BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH (pause) BLAAAAAAAAAAAAH”

“I’ll take that as a ‘Yes'”

Her arm suddenly dropped, and the bucket went tumbling onto the floor.  I stifled the primary instinct to inwardly roll my eyes and blurt out, “Oh, come on.”

Her eyes were open and she seemed to be awake, but then I shuffled closer and realized that she had turned a ghostly whitish green.  The lights were on, but nobody was home.

In the end, she was okay.  But I would have hated to act like a jerk in front of her husband when she was really kinda sick. 

Claire and Hannah tore it up at NAHBS this past weekend.  Since folks seem to have a hard time making up their minds, we are going to extend the NAHBS special for a little more time.  But if you’ve been considering rockin a custom kit, now would be a good time to get off your keester.  Seriously. Screamin deals on custom cycling jerseys and kits.