Team Alchemist Blog

Ball and socket, time to rock it.

Cleaning up my shift today when a fella comes in with a dislocated hip.  Debra was seeing him, but it’s always nice to have extra hands on a hip dislocation, so I went in for the relocation to push the sleepy meds and be a cheerleader.  This guy was 300+ pounds, and Debra barely makes three digits, so it was hardly a fair fight.   But she was game, so I pushed the Propofol (yes, the Michael Jackson drug), and she stepped into the Octagon to take on the hip.  After 15 minutes, she was gassed, so I had her tap out.  My turn.  Full of man juice, I stepped onto the stretcher to take on Goliath.

The art of hip relocation is often  20% technique and 80% effort.  It can be a real grunt.  And it’s certainly not a pretty site. Squatting on the stretcher, hugging another man’s leg, his knee against my chest, his shin in my groin, my veins popping, my face bright red, my eyes bulging, and his relaxed anal sphincter passing noxious fumes right in my grill.

A hernia in the making

After I had worked up a nice lather, Debra finally called for the Valium.  30 seconds later, I nearly flew backward off the bed as the hip clunked back into place.   I gave an obligatory primal yell, and flexed as Deb and the nurses rolled their eyes.  “Who’s yer daddy!” Of course, it was mostly the Valium  (that Deb thought of using), but hey, I’ll take some credit.

Some racing notes: Stuart took home 4th in the solo category at 18 Hours of Fruita last weekend, logging nearly 170 miles!  He went back to Fruita today to win his age group in the Desert RATS Classic.  Stuart, you stud.

Ken was top 5 overall at the RATS and also won his age group.   Note, this was not the Clydesdale division.  This was the 30-39 skinny guys.  He and Stuart would have finished even faster had they not taken a wrong turn.  Ryn crushed it and brought home a gold medal, finishing under 6 hours on the 100k course.  No report yet on Jon, Jenn and Deb.

It went down to the wire for Walt and Brian at the 12 hours of Mesa Verde last weekend.  In the end, they prevailed over legends like Wiens, Overend, Brown, and silly fast riders like McGelky and Zanni.  And they did it with only 3 guys on the team!  Get the full scoop here.  It’s worth the read.