Pole Dancing, Pus, and Bike Share

20 01 2011

Hairy Pole Dancer

Saw a young lady the other day for a festering boil in her armpit.  It wasn’t the first time she had been in to the ER for the same problem, and the scar from her previous drainage was visible adjacent to today’s incision.  She had been shaving her armpits, and I explained to her that she should consider going au natural.  She responded that she needed to shave for her job.  Of course, the next obvious questions was “What do you do?”

“I’m a dancer.”

“Cool.  What kind of dance? Ballet, Jazz, Lindyhop?”


Wasn’t sure how to respond.  (“Oh, how lovely! Are the benefits good?”) My silence was two-fold.  I felt silly about not knowing what “dancer” really means, and I fully understood why it would be necessary to be well shorn while you are sticking your junk up in someone else’s grill.  My ill-conceived response was less than ideal.

“Well . . . I think . . . I guess . . . don’t you think your clients might prefer to see pit hair than pus?”

I need to learn when to keep my mouth shut.

Plague Vector

Boulder Bike Share is coming to Boulder.  Continuing the recent trend of  using  Walt’s blog as fodder for my blog, here’s Walt’s take on it. http://waltworks.blogspot.com/2009/06/boulder-to-implement-bike-share-program.html  Keep in mind that Walt is grumpy and cynical (and hilarious).  Personally, I like the novelty of the idea, no matter how impractical.   (n.b., we still have Bike Share T-shirts in stock and on sale.)  Just elevating the awareness of bicycle riding is always good in my book.  It’s better than wasting our money and efforts protecting plague-infested vermin (read, prairie dogs), even if they are kinda cute.

Limited edition Dan Maes “Bike Share” available for pre-order

14 08 2010

Alchemist would once again like to thank Dan Maes for inspiring the two year old in all of us.  It’s something we’ve all been brainwashed to accept.  Sharing.  But no longer, right Danno?  We cyclists are all behind you on this one (laughing).  Sharing SUCKS!

“Bike Share” is now available for pre-order on the Alchemist site.   100% organic, ring-spun cotton.  Itch-Free, tagless label.  Phthalate-Free ink.   Plantable, seeded hang-tag.  Yadda, yadda, yadda.  Available in men’s and women’s.   Expected arrival date of Sept 21, 2010. For the folks who can’t squint hard enough to read the type, it goes like this: Bike Share is the Gateway to Sinister World Domination. “This is bigger than it looks on the surface . . .” -Dan “McCarthy” Maes.

This is a limited edition design.  When they’re gone, they’re gone.

Thank You Card and Dan Maes Wins Primary!

11 08 2010

One more follow-up from the previous post “Cheating Death“.  I received a very nice card from his wife today.  On the front is a picture of him in a lake with his dog.  His wife tells me that he is nearly 100% back to normal, and he is back to enjoying regular life again.  Incredible.  When I first met him, he was ghost white, his pupils were fixed, and he didn’t have a pulse.  He was dead.  That is one tough hombre.  His wife is pretty darned tough too.

Check out the Alchemist Review in Boulder.me.  Written by Jennifer Roberts, who has a pretty sweet blog herself, www.rideboulderco.com.  It’s filled with effervescent prose about biking in Boulder.  She has nice style.

So I’m sure you all stayed up late last night, holding your breath, waiting for the outcome of the republican gubernatorial primary election results.  I’m please to announce that our good friend and bike advocate, Dan “McCarthy” Maes, won!  We’ll be rolling out the commemorative “Bike Share” T in a few weeks.  It will be a limited edition run, so tell all your friends to hop on the bandwagon cus it’s about to be all hitched up and gone.  Here is the final edit.

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